No name

I've been struggling guys!  I do fine when i'm with friends or family but when i'm alone I panic! Sometimes I wish I could put everyone elses life on hold so I can take five minutes to worry about myself but it's impossible!

School is stressing me out, I sit down to study and I don't know where to start. I sit in class and worry about my family and my friends. So far I've been doing good this semester in school but this week has been a trial. I'm being pulled so many different directions that it makes it hard!

I don't really like the month of February it brings back some bad memories. But worst of all it's the month I lost my rock in my life. My grandma! I still don't understand why Heavenly Father would take her from me and my family. We never did anything wrong! I wanted her at my High School Graduation, I wanted to show her my pictures from the dances I went to. I wanted her to meet the boys I dated, and most of all I wanted her there when I was struggling.

My past is full of disappointments and heartaches but I know that everyday is a new day and as long as i make it tomorrow i'm doing fine! I'm not going to look past tomorrow because there is no reason to.

I am thankful for the people in my life who have never doubted me and stuck by through all my mistakes and failures! And I can promise you this, I'll stick by every single one of yours if you'll let me! My door is always open and i'm always here to listen!

Define Friends

Friends
noun

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.

5. ( initial capital letter  ) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.

I have been very blessed in my life to have the most amazing friends! I know sometimes I can be a challenge to be friends with at times. But I have a great group of friends that have stuck by me in everything! Thank you guys! I love you all with my whole heart! 

My parents have been my rock my entire life! I honestly have no idea what I'd do without them. I have been blessed with parents that would never stand in the way of any of my dreams they are the most supportive people I know! 

  

My brother Chris was my first best friend he has the kindest heart and has always looked out for me! We haven't always gotten along but what did you expect?! 

 

Lauralei is my little but taller cousin! We have always had a love/ hate relationship! They say your cousins are your first best friends and this is very true in our case!! 

 

Me and michelle have been best friends since preschool! We became best friends very fast! She has been there through every thick and thin possible! I love her and am so thankful for her friendship more than words can describe!

 

Emily: I can't remember a time not knowing her! We have been friends since childhood! We have very similar personalities and there is never a dull moment with us! 

Mckayla: Best friends in 5th grade we were very creative kids! I am so thankful that we are such great friends today! 

 

Holly: This girl is the funniest! I still have several of the notes she has given me she is the definition of a true friend! Always loving and always a phone call away!

Tabitha: Oh my the crazy things we have done! I cannot remember a time when she wasn't there when i needed her! I still remember her hugging me in Junior high while i cried like a baby!  

 

Tanner: I've known Tanner my whole life! I miss him more and more everyday! He is the most reasonable person i've ever met. and he's the one I always went to for advice! 

Alex: From the very first moment I met him he made me laugh! He has the best sense of humor! 

 

YMAD Group: I can honestly say this group of people is the best friends anyone could ask for! I love every single one of them all for different reasons! We got to experience the most amazing things together! We have a bond that will never be broken! 

 

Mike and Tommy: These boys are the greatest friends a person could ask for! They make me laugh and smile even when i'm down! I wish they'd come home already I miss them! and we need to get Indian food and do YOGA!

 

The Fanzz boys: I never thought i'd have the best co workers in the entire world but guess what?! I got them! They are the best people in the world! I love them all so much and am so grateful for their friendship and support in everything I do! 

  

Wyatt: My first college friend! Wyatt is the best example that i've ever had! Every time I talk to him I learn something new or what he says makes me want to be a better person! 

Ethan: I've never met a funnier person in my life! He is so caring but also tells you how it is! He is very honest! 

I love these two very much!

 

My grandpa: This is what a hero looks like! I'm so grateful that i have the oppurtunity to be so close to my grandpa he is the greatest man ever! and so darn cute! I love him with my whole heart!

 

The Church Is True!

So I know that some people that read my blog aren't LDS but that's okay! I just wanted to share this amazing experience with everyone!

So I was raised in the LDS church (mormon) and have always loved going to church and loved the gospel. But i've always been told that you get that true conversion moment where no part of you denies the church or questions it.

I always thought that I had that moment at Girls camp a few years back. but oh was I wrong.

I love reading books from deseret book they are GRAND! anyways I read one the other night and this feeling came over me. I knelt and prayed and I felt like someone was hugging me!! It was amazing! i couldn't stop crying! I have NEVER felt the spirit so strong!!

I didn't even want to go to sleep! I just wanted to kneel and talk to my best friend all night!!! Guys the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints is TRUE!!!!!!

Define Thankful

thank·ful  

/ˈTHaNGkfəl/

Adjective Pleased and relieved: "they were thankful that the war was finally over"; "I was very thankful to be alive". Expressing gratitude and relief: "a thankful prayer".

There are so many things that I am thankful for. I have been blessed with so many good friends and the greatest family a person could ask for!

Ringing in the new year

I've always hated New Years, It's a day of reflecting (which I also hate)......

I'm the type of person who never used their review mirrors (unless Backing up) You know the people who check them consonantly like in the movies when a shooter is driving behind them... Yeah well I never did. I always looked straight ahead. until one day I got rear ended by some punk. and after that I was checking behind me all the time. worrying that it would happen again. and you know what? every time i checked I remembered exactly how it felt to get in that accident.

Now when I apply that to my life. I've always been a pretty optimistic person. Cups always half full in my book....

Last new years was bitter sweet, It had been a rough year i overcame a lot of trials and heartaches. And at the time of New Years I was in love for the first time (I know BORING!) But seriously I was so excited and felt like it was MY turn to shine. After all the years of waiting in the back of the line I felt like number one!!!

Shortly after New Years I got kicked back to the bottom. I may have fallen in love faster then I was suppose to. but I know what I felt and I don't blame him at all. It wasn't his fault he didn't feel the same way. I always knew in the back of my mind that I didn't fit into his life style.


But now that's why I hate New Years because I hate looking back and seeing all the wrecks and accidents. I tend to not see the smiles and laughter. Because I think along the way those became a blind spot.

I know how pathetic this all sounds. the girl who wasn't loved back. and the guy who ruined her point of view. But I actually look at it as a good thing. I was always that girl who never saw anything bad coming. And now i'm ready. I'm ready for any accidents up ahead. And i'm not driving anymore. Heavenly Father is. and I know he'll guide me to where I need to be.


I hope you all have a fantastic New Years. and I look forward to the year 2013!!!

Define: Happiness

hap·pi·ness

 [hap-ee-nis] 

noun

1. the quality or state of being happy.

2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.

Synonyms
1, 2.  pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction. Happiness, bliss, contentment, felicity  imply an active or passive state of pleasure or pleasurable satisfaction. Happiness  results from the possession or attainment of what one considers good: the happiness of visiting one's family. Bliss  is unalloyed happiness or supreme delight: the bliss of perfect companionship. Contentment  is a peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires, even though every wish may not have been gratified: contentment in one's surroundings. Felicity  is a formal word for happiness of an especially fortunate or intense kind: to wish a young couple felicity in life.

 

 

 

So the question is What makes you happy?

XOXOXO

he who gives ,can also take

Lately i've been thinking a lot about all that i've been given but this last week I was taught how quickly it can all be taken away. I am so grateful for my heavenly father for looking over my dad and brother.

My heart goes out to families who have lost loved ones.


Everything happens for a reason.

xoxoxoxo

These last couple of months have been hard health wise.

• I found out I need to get a mole removed off of my head because it's cancerous 
• 
  
• I got a sinus infection and virul infection
• 
  
• I might have a kidney infection
• 
  
• I might have something wrong with my blood 

So pretty much at this point i want school to be over. Summer to come. :)



Keep your head up, some people would kill to see you fail 
- Unknown.

Love will make you beautiful!

The type of girl I am:

I've been thinking alot about how others view me. One thing i've figured out about myself is that I am very different from others.

I'm the type that:

blasts Indian music to make me feel better

loves winter for four reasons- Football, snowboarding, cuddling, and Christmas!!!

Loves to shop but doesn't take my time shopping (get in and get out)

Fast food was invented for me!!!!

I follow my heart and ignore my head.

getting hurt is a good excuse to grow

shoes are wonderful!!!

Water and Diet Coke are mandatory!!!

my nails always have to be painted!

I LOVE TAKING PICTURES!!!!

I am always up for a dance party!!

Sometimes i dream in black and white

I dream very often but usually my dreams are really scary and prevents me from sleeping.

I'd much rather have someone hold me then kiss me.

I hate being alone

laughter is really the best medicine

the cup is always half full

Without the gospel i'd be nowhere

Age is just a number baby!!

    So my 19th birthday is coming up so i've been thinking a lot about age.
My whole life I have been cut down by my age, if it's by adults saying I wouldn't understand their conversations, guys who say they are too old for me or that I am just a naive blonde girl that knows nothing about important facts.....

This is what I say to that.....
Yeah I might not know a lot about certain things but once I learn about things I research things out and develop my own opinion about things.
I've seen some horrible things in my life that have stuck with me.
Yeah I'm not the smartest person in the world but neither are you!
Age is just a number baby! ;) haha jk!



On a side note:

Today I wasn't feeling my best so I went on a shopping spree haha oh online shopping you'll be the death of me!

What I bought:
Kony Kit
Kony tee shirt
a falling whistle

I'm so excited and I hope my money can go and help others! I'm so lucky to have what I have!

Next shopping spree is going to Victoria Secret!! YAY!!! :)

I hope everyone is doing good!

Cut that out!!

So i've been thinking alot about what to write so many ideas have run through my head. And I think i've finally found a topic I feel strongly about. It's something I think we've all experienced.

"Learn to love what's good for you"

That's a phrase i'm sure we've all heard, or at least something along those lines. 

But what does it mean?

To me I look at it more as get the negatives out of your life.

I've seen so many people date people they don't truly like, are a negative effect on them, or don't bring out the best in them. 

So let me ask why do we do this?

Here are my opinions: 

1. You get in this comfortable funk and don't bother changing.
2. You think "I'll never be cared or loved like this again" < this right here is wrong DEAD WRONG!!!! You'll find someone who treats you better and actually loves you.
3. You are scared to lose that person all together. And you might but perhaps it's for the better. 
4. They just fit into your lifestyle, perhaps they get along with your family, your friends. 
5. Perhaps you aren't financially stable or you need this person psychologically. 

My advice is to view your life through anothers eyes. are you the same person?
does this person you are with bring out the best in you and lift you up to be a better person?

If not GET OUT!!!  

What a way to start the new year....

So I've always felt like new years was a funny thing. It's a day where we reflect back on our past 365 days and how we've grown and what we've lost. Then we decide to change ourselves to be better so we all make silly lists that include things like Lose weight, Go to another country, clean the house.......

You know it we all do it. Usually we don't actually go through with them but this year I'm sticking to mine. This past year I've grown up so so much.

I graduated from High School
I Went to another country and saw the most terrible things.
I started college less then a month after High school
I slacked off and lost something I've always wanted
I started a new college
I made relationship mistakes but learned so much from them
I got mono hahahaha still makes me laugh
I got a job!!!! which I LOVE!!!!!
And so much more!
I am so thankful for what 2011 brought me and I can only hope that I've learned from my mistakes last year and see what 2012 will bring.

As of today I'm changing the way I think of life and of people. I'm going to make myself happy, no more people pleasing. My life is about me now (wow i sound selfish!) but really I'm sick of getting hurt and of taking care of everyone else.

That's all for now!

XOXOXOXOXO

And it's a new semester....

Holy Cow! Time flys when your having fun! Christmas break was super fun!

I got to see family, hang out with some friends i feel like i haven't seen in forever, went on a couple dates with Travis, GOT A JOB at FANZZ!!!!! Yes it's a dream come true and yes i get paid to watch sports! 

So now i'm in my third semester of college. 
I was actually really excited to for this semester (nerdy!) I can tell it's going to be a challenge but I'm ready for it!

1st class is Student Success- I'm actually super excited for this class and not just because EMILY is going to be in it but also I'm hoping it will help me with my poor test taking. 

2nd class- English- I have this class with Ethan Stokes which will make it quite interesting! The teacher seems super chill which is great she's also polish! 

3rd class- American National Government- Also have with Ethan. Usually Government bores me but so far I love this class, I love the discussions that take place and hearing stupid comments from my fellow classmates!

4th class- Institute- Which of course will be wonderful minus the fact that my teacher has decided to take on the roll of matchmaker! 

last class 5th class- Biological Anthropology- Also with Ethan! This class looks super challenging but i am confident that i can pass and learn lots! also i get biology out of the way! yay!!!!

Thats all for now!

XOXOXOXO

 

2012 :)

What a Glamorous and Epic year 2012 will be:

Want: What I really want in 2012 is:

• To be able to make my own choices 
• Map our my schooling plan
• Create a photography business type thing
• Travel somewhere new
• Learn how to manage my money
• To make our house feel more like a home  

Need: What I really need in 2012 is: 

• Good grades so i can get back to BYU
• To say more prayers and read my scriptures more
• Learn how to spend my time more wisely 
• To finally grow up and learn responsibly
• To learn better study habits
• Get more sleep

Share: What I will share in 2012 is: 

• Volunteer work
• My love for the gospel
• LOVE
• Put aside money to go back to India

Succeed: In 2012 I will succeed at: 

• Photography jobs
• More blog followers
• School
• Family relationships
• Friend relationships
• Smile more
• Visiting teaching and other church callings
• My self esteem

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYBODY!!!!! :) 

XOXOXOXO