I've always hated New Years, It's a day of reflecting (which I also hate)......
I'm the type of person who never used their review mirrors (unless Backing up) You know the people who check them consonantly like in the movies when a shooter is driving behind them... Yeah well I never did. I always looked straight ahead. until one day I got rear ended by some punk. and after that I was checking behind me all the time. worrying that it would happen again. and you know what? every time i checked I remembered exactly how it felt to get in that accident.
Now when I apply that to my life. I've always been a pretty optimistic person. Cups always half full in my book....
Last new years was bitter sweet, It had been a rough year i overcame a lot of trials and heartaches. And at the time of New Years I was in love for the first time (I know BORING!) But seriously I was so excited and felt like it was MY turn to shine. After all the years of waiting in the back of the line I felt like number one!!!
Shortly after New Years I got kicked back to the bottom. I may have fallen in love faster then I was suppose to. but I know what I felt and I don't blame him at all. It wasn't his fault he didn't feel the same way. I always knew in the back of my mind that I didn't fit into his life style.
But now that's why I hate New Years because I hate looking back and seeing all the wrecks and accidents. I tend to not see the smiles and laughter. Because I think along the way those became a blind spot.
I know how pathetic this all sounds. the girl who wasn't loved back. and the guy who ruined her point of view. But I actually look at it as a good thing. I was always that girl who never saw anything bad coming. And now i'm ready. I'm ready for any accidents up ahead. And i'm not driving anymore. Heavenly Father is. and I know he'll guide me to where I need to be.
I hope you all have a fantastic New Years. and I look forward to the year 2013!!!