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I've been struggling guys!  I do fine when i'm with friends or family but when i'm alone I panic! Sometimes I wish I could put everyone elses life on hold so I can take five minutes to worry about myself but it's impossible!

School is stressing me out, I sit down to study and I don't know where to start. I sit in class and worry about my family and my friends. So far I've been doing good this semester in school but this week has been a trial. I'm being pulled so many different directions that it makes it hard!

I don't really like the month of February it brings back some bad memories. But worst of all it's the month I lost my rock in my life. My grandma! I still don't understand why Heavenly Father would take her from me and my family. We never did anything wrong! I wanted her at my High School Graduation, I wanted to show her my pictures from the dances I went to. I wanted her to meet the boys I dated, and most of all I wanted her there when I was struggling.

My past is full of disappointments and heartaches but I know that everyday is a new day and as long as i make it tomorrow i'm doing fine! I'm not going to look past tomorrow because there is no reason to.

I am thankful for the people in my life who have never doubted me and stuck by through all my mistakes and failures! And I can promise you this, I'll stick by every single one of yours if you'll let me! My door is always open and i'm always here to listen!

Define Friends

Friends
noun

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.

5. ( initial capital letter  ) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.

I have been very blessed in my life to have the most amazing friends! I know sometimes I can be a challenge to be friends with at times. But I have a great group of friends that have stuck by me in everything! Thank you guys! I love you all with my whole heart! 

My parents have been my rock my entire life! I honestly have no idea what I'd do without them. I have been blessed with parents that would never stand in the way of any of my dreams they are the most supportive people I know! 

  

My brother Chris was my first best friend he has the kindest heart and has always looked out for me! We haven't always gotten along but what did you expect?! 

 

Lauralei is my little but taller cousin! We have always had a love/ hate relationship! They say your cousins are your first best friends and this is very true in our case!! 

 

Me and michelle have been best friends since preschool! We became best friends very fast! She has been there through every thick and thin possible! I love her and am so thankful for her friendship more than words can describe!

 

Emily: I can't remember a time not knowing her! We have been friends since childhood! We have very similar personalities and there is never a dull moment with us! 

Mckayla: Best friends in 5th grade we were very creative kids! I am so thankful that we are such great friends today! 

 

Holly: This girl is the funniest! I still have several of the notes she has given me she is the definition of a true friend! Always loving and always a phone call away!

Tabitha: Oh my the crazy things we have done! I cannot remember a time when she wasn't there when i needed her! I still remember her hugging me in Junior high while i cried like a baby!  

 

Tanner: I've known Tanner my whole life! I miss him more and more everyday! He is the most reasonable person i've ever met. and he's the one I always went to for advice! 

Alex: From the very first moment I met him he made me laugh! He has the best sense of humor! 

 

YMAD Group: I can honestly say this group of people is the best friends anyone could ask for! I love every single one of them all for different reasons! We got to experience the most amazing things together! We have a bond that will never be broken! 

 

Mike and Tommy: These boys are the greatest friends a person could ask for! They make me laugh and smile even when i'm down! I wish they'd come home already I miss them! and we need to get Indian food and do YOGA!

 

The Fanzz boys: I never thought i'd have the best co workers in the entire world but guess what?! I got them! They are the best people in the world! I love them all so much and am so grateful for their friendship and support in everything I do! 

  

Wyatt: My first college friend! Wyatt is the best example that i've ever had! Every time I talk to him I learn something new or what he says makes me want to be a better person! 

Ethan: I've never met a funnier person in my life! He is so caring but also tells you how it is! He is very honest! 

I love these two very much!

 

My grandpa: This is what a hero looks like! I'm so grateful that i have the oppurtunity to be so close to my grandpa he is the greatest man ever! and so darn cute! I love him with my whole heart!

 

The Church Is True!

So I know that some people that read my blog aren't LDS but that's okay! I just wanted to share this amazing experience with everyone!

So I was raised in the LDS church (mormon) and have always loved going to church and loved the gospel. But i've always been told that you get that true conversion moment where no part of you denies the church or questions it.

I always thought that I had that moment at Girls camp a few years back. but oh was I wrong.

I love reading books from deseret book they are GRAND! anyways I read one the other night and this feeling came over me. I knelt and prayed and I felt like someone was hugging me!! It was amazing! i couldn't stop crying! I have NEVER felt the spirit so strong!!

I didn't even want to go to sleep! I just wanted to kneel and talk to my best friend all night!!! Guys the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints is TRUE!!!!!!

Define Thankful

thank·ful  

/ˈTHaNGkfəl/

Adjective Pleased and relieved: "they were thankful that the war was finally over"; "I was very thankful to be alive". Expressing gratitude and relief: "a thankful prayer".

There are so many things that I am thankful for. I have been blessed with so many good friends and the greatest family a person could ask for!

Ringing in the new year

I've always hated New Years, It's a day of reflecting (which I also hate)......

I'm the type of person who never used their review mirrors (unless Backing up) You know the people who check them consonantly like in the movies when a shooter is driving behind them... Yeah well I never did. I always looked straight ahead. until one day I got rear ended by some punk. and after that I was checking behind me all the time. worrying that it would happen again. and you know what? every time i checked I remembered exactly how it felt to get in that accident.

Now when I apply that to my life. I've always been a pretty optimistic person. Cups always half full in my book....

Last new years was bitter sweet, It had been a rough year i overcame a lot of trials and heartaches. And at the time of New Years I was in love for the first time (I know BORING!) But seriously I was so excited and felt like it was MY turn to shine. After all the years of waiting in the back of the line I felt like number one!!!

Shortly after New Years I got kicked back to the bottom. I may have fallen in love faster then I was suppose to. but I know what I felt and I don't blame him at all. It wasn't his fault he didn't feel the same way. I always knew in the back of my mind that I didn't fit into his life style.


But now that's why I hate New Years because I hate looking back and seeing all the wrecks and accidents. I tend to not see the smiles and laughter. Because I think along the way those became a blind spot.

I know how pathetic this all sounds. the girl who wasn't loved back. and the guy who ruined her point of view. But I actually look at it as a good thing. I was always that girl who never saw anything bad coming. And now i'm ready. I'm ready for any accidents up ahead. And i'm not driving anymore. Heavenly Father is. and I know he'll guide me to where I need to be.


I hope you all have a fantastic New Years. and I look forward to the year 2013!!!

Holiday Season

So this holiday season I've been super busy!
Work has been crazy! But I'm so grateful for the boys I work with, they are my best friends and always know how to cheer me up if it's giving me a hug or a cd! I have such a love for each of them, they make my job so much easier!

Being out of school and being able to spend more time with my family has been such a blessing! I have a crazy family but the love we share is amazing. My favorite thing this season was going to the cemetary with my family and singing christmas carols in front of my grandma's grave. I couldn't stop crying I can't imagine losing my best friend like my grandpa did. She was the love of his life.

I am also so grateful for the friends in my life. I know I'm not as close to some as I used to be. But I know they are always a phone call away! And I would do anything for any of them!

and here are the pictures i'm sure you all were waiting for!

Hello beautiful!!!

Well hello there friend!! it's been forever forever i know!!!

So lately i've been busy!!

SEE SEE!!!

  




So this is a indie style I tried out!! You like?!

 Me and my old man!! Love this guy!!!!

  




 Some mustache fun!! Yay for no shave November!!!

 Me and the boys at work!! They are the greatest!!! :)

  



 Guys guys guys!!! I ran a half marathon!!! Can you believe it?!


Yeah me neither!!! 








Okay guys now I have something to say: (it is my blog i can do what i want!!!)

Now this a older picture, but this is Riley Beau Brown. I work with him and he has become one of the greatest friends i've ever had!!! 

He is the sweetest guy you'll ever meet and always makes me feel better about myself!!

I know everyone else is doing the November what i'm thankful thing. well this is mine for this week! 

I'm so thankful for the great friends that i have in my life!!! 

Thanks guys!!! :)



















Well thats it for now!! 
XOXOXOOX